why do black women want “good hair”?

thoughts?

solange knowles joins the BC club.

wow! even though i’m not too crazy for celebrity news, solange’s big chop made me so happy. it was something so unique and unexpected; shocking in a way that immediately excited me.

let me explain. when india arie cut her hair, it was beautiful, but not particularly unusual. the neo-soul arena is not only well known for embracing natural hair, but for also embracing the cultural roots that accompany it. in short, natural hair and the natural lifestyle is a neo-soul thing. that is, until now.

what excited me about solange’s decision was her attempt to introduce something to the mainstream that, in my opinion, has yet to gain a lot of respect, particularly from the black community. i just got off the phone with a friend who told me she needs a perm. she also complained about being out in the sun and getting darker. further, most of the compliments i get about my hair usually go something like, “it’s so afrocentric,” or “hello, miss afro-nubian queen!”

don’t get me wrong, i am very aware and proud of my african heritage, but this same heritage (namely my east african-ness) automatically distinguishes me from other black women in a way that i find problematic. without understanding that i grew up with the “bad hair” in my family, a lot of friends and strangers explain that if they go natural, their hair will never look as “good” as mine. so i have come to understand that i cannot be the only person who serves as an example. i can’t be the only one to prove that it’s possible to embrace the big fro and then chop it off the next day.

my goal in life has never been to proselytize. i am not trying to convince all black women to wear fros and locs. nevertheless, it is clear that the women that grace the covers of vogue and cosmopolitan have an effect on how we [black women] view ourselves. after clicking through other blogs that revealed the new photos of solange, i came across a poll by thehollywoodgossip.com regarding solange’s new hair cut. 72% of their readers voted: “WTF no, what is she thinking?“ i didn’t know if i should have been surprised or disappointed, but i immediately asked myself, how many of these voters were black women?

i wouldn’t be surprised if black women were more opposed to solange’s hair cut than white women. from my experience, this problem has always been amongst black women. it’s either the girl on the bus that whispers “she needs a perm,” or the one telling me that she wishes she had my hair. in both cases, it involves a self-hatred that needs to stop. before we can ever expect to gain respect from others, we need to learn how to respect ourselves and embrace our diverse beauty that ranges from loose curls and freckles to buzz cuts and deep complexions.